Vogue Mexico February 2018

Every month I’ll be posting one of my favourite magazine covers on this blog. Anyone who knows me, knows that I love reading and collecting fashion magazines. When I saw this cover I literally fell in love.

Photography: Giampaolo Sgura

Styling: Miguel Alberto Enamorado

Model: Yasmin Wijnaldum

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Vogue Mexico February 2018

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Learning to unlearn

“You’re still finding and peeling back the layers of the better parts of yourself. Keep loving. keep breaking. keep living. keep existing. keep becoming.” – Anish Amat

I had to isolate myself and face my wounds, that is where true healing begins. As I take on this journey to wholeness and wellness, I realized that I needed to change my mindset and what I manifested unintentionally. For so many years, I have been conditioned to hide and to ignore my pain, which created much more unnecessary pain that seemed endless. An endless cycle of hurtfulness and self-loathe, which I needed to break.

I realized that in order to heal I had to unlearn everything that did not aid in my personal growth. I’m at a time and place in my life, where I am focusing all of my energy on healing, growth, learning and unlearning everything that no longer gives purpose in my life. So what is unlearning? It is to let go of the things which you have learned or that no longer serves you.

Learning to unlearn is a lifelong process that should be practiced every day, whether it be unlearning negative thoughts and ideas that society says about you (which you know is untrue). The idea of mindfulness is not always about learning new things, but about unlearning old ones. It is a long journey of unlearning, healing and becoming the best and the most authentic version of yourself. The more I unlearn the principles of conditional thoughts and ideas that are self-destructive and not meaningful, the more (un)learning I discover I still have to do… it is a process.

This process has taught me to let go of a lot of things such as toxic people whether that be family and friends, letting go of the past, letting go of people that hurt me, letting go of the mistakes that I have made and learning to forgive myself and to forgive others.

This very moment, I am learning to love myself more, to heal, to breathe and to let go and let God.

Remember this is your journey, whatever pace and space that you’re in as long as your journey encompasses self-love and healing. So what are you learning to unlearn and relearn today?

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TWENTY EIGHTEEN

Happy New Year! 

“Let your days teach you and transform you. Let them leave you differently than they found you.” 

Isn’t it amazing how we all survived twenty seventeen? – I must say, it was the most overwhelming year for me. Twenty seventeen, was the year where God really stretched me emotionally, spiritually and mentally. Firstly, it was my first time moving to South Africa’s concrete jungle, also known as Johannesburg. It was not my first time visiting Johannesburg ( I do have family that side) but it was my first time moving into this big city all by myself.  Moving to Johannesburg was never the plan right now, but somehow this is where I ended up. Deep down inside I knew God sent me here to fulfil His purpose and assignment for me.

Yes, Johannesburg is the place where there is a lot of social events and where most job opportunities lie. But that was not the reason why I came to Johannesburg, I came to Joburg to pursue and complete my postgraduate studies.

I mentioned that God really stretched me emotionally, spiritually and mentally – what I meant was that I was growing daily from the challenges and struggles that were thrown at me. Not only did I not have friends, I knew no one in Joburg – literally no one. Okay, before moving to Johannesburg, I also knew no one in Bloemfontein (where I completed my bachelor’s degree), but somehow it was easier to make friends then and that is also where I met my partner-in-crime ( I don’t participate in illegal activities), my lover and my best friend – my boyfriend. So I was with him most of the time when I was not busy with university. Which in fact made my undergraduate years less overwhelming and full of amazing memories. Fast forward 2017, the year my boyfriend and I were now entering a long-distance relationship (which I have never done before – it’s still not easy for us but its what keeps our relationship stronger). I had so much and I still do have separation anxiety at times because of not being near friends, family and my boyfriend. But deep down inside I knew that I had to stay strong, my conversations with God has always been centred around and focused on growth; as well asking Him what are His desires and His plans for me. And I remembered, God always provides His toughest battles to those who are strong enough.

After having a mental breakdown in 2017 ( I suffered a lot from depression and anxiety),  I took a break from all social media platforms, that is where I decided to detox, unplug and take a break. I had to reevaluate everything that was happening in my life and myself. I needed to heal myself, I needed to work on myself, for myself. My mind, my body and my soul were not well. I was fighting internally with myself in areas where I did not heal properly for all these years. For so many years, whenever I suffered in any area of my life; I’d force myself to not remember the trauma and I’d move on and focus on other things, rather than healing my body, my mind and my soul first.

This is where my personal and wellness blog comes in. I always loved reading and writing ( and I still do) but I never had the time.  After listening to Oprah Winfrey’s Super Soul Sunday Sessions on Youtube and as well as on podcast – that is when my life changed forever. I discovered a new way to heal myself, to learn to forgive and to love myself again. My journey is not over. It just began. I am still healing (healing is never linear and it is never really over) and I am growing each and every day. I am not perfect but I know, I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

I created this blog to tell my story, to help empower and inspire all women (it’s all about sisterhood – sisterhood is about sharing, love and connecting), just like you and me who have been through so much in their lives and are willing to heal (you deserve to heal), to take care of themselves mentally, spiritually, physically and emotionally; to love themselves more and to discover strengths within themselves that they did not know. A journey to wholeness and wellness. There is always beauty in our struggle. This year I am dedicating myself to loving myself more. 2018 will be the year of blooming, flourishing, glowing, growing, thriving, shimmering and shining!

 

I would love to hear your feedback.

 

loveballoons

 

 

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